16 Tweets About Good Ol' Fashioned Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll

1.

We built this city on rock and roll and it's caused nothing but problems ever since.

-- Mike O'Brien (@MikeOBrienXOXO) July 12, 2013

2.

can someone tell the ghosts of my ancestors that pre-marital sex is like kinda cool now?

-- Jo Firestone (@kingfirestorm) May 3, 2016

3.

Just say no to drugs. Unless its weed or mushrooms cause they're chill.Also cocaine can be fun once in awhile. Only do heroin like twice max

-- Gavin Speiller (@gavinspeiller) September 2, 2016

4.

I WANT TO ROCK AND ROLL ALL TIME AND PART LEAVES EVERY MAY

-- Ziwe (@ziwe) January 22, 2016

5.

Never sold drugs or been run off my corner but somebody switched my desk chair while I was gone and that's pretty much the same thing

-- yc (@yc) September 22, 2016

6.

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away but not right this second, I am on the phone with the dentist

-- Jewel Galbraith (@jewelfg) June 15, 2015

7.

Kids today learn about sex and Alexander Hamilton much sooner than I did.

-- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) August 24, 2016

8.

The old-person equivalent of cocaine is checking and discovering it is before 10pm.

-- Pat Cassels (@patrick_cassels) August 6, 2016

9.

If you are wearing a bluetooth at 2am, please say hi to the drugs for me

-- Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 26, 2015

10.

my favorite part of sex? uhhh definitely the part when i [my hand shaking nervously as i take out a wrinkled note from my pocket] crumb

-- Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) September 19, 2016

11.

please no gifts but if you must we are registered at sex offenders

-- Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 1, 2016

12.

wife: honey come quick! our baby is about to do his first ironic post online

baby: smoke weed bitch ha ha lol :)

me: [tears of joy]

-- eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) August 16, 2016

13.

Made a shirt for REAL fans of rock and roll http://pic.twitter.com/etYqtP1aua

-- Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) July 18, 2014

14.

WHY TYPECASTING IS BAD: I never thought people boning behind a Kohls would practice safe sex & YET this used condom I found PROVES OTHERWISE

-- H. Caldwell Tanner (@caldy) August 4, 2016

15.

[my wife & i catch our son smoking weed]
ME: i'll talk to him
[wife walks away]
ME: we're very disa--ok shes gone. when did u get so fkn cool

-- Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) August 17, 2016

16.

when people in movies rub their gums w their fingers, is that about cocaine or is it to get the last bit of melty chocolate off their hands

-- Hallie Cantor (@halliecantor) May 10, 2016

Source: www.collegehumor.com