12 Times Twitter Was So True It Hurt

Twitter's a truly wonderful tool - it's the perfect way to transform your fears about the world and personal insecurities into snappy, 140-character jokes so you don't have to confront any of them in sincere, potentially emotionally-devastating ways. Plus, it feels pretty nice when someone retweets you 'n all.

1.

Donald Trump asking about nuclear weapons is the biggest red flag since Voldemort asked about Horcruxes as a teenager at Hogwarts.

-- Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) August 3, 2016

2.

I wish I could get bitten by a radioactive confident person.

-- Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) June 29, 2012

3.

"I'm on Tinder to make friends"
"Sure, and I'm on PornHub to see if this plumber manages to fix this sink"

-- Jack (@kcajnosduh) November 17, 2015

4.

Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge

-- Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 10, 2015

5.

Hey yea man, send me that YouTube link. I'm definitely gonna watch it and not just default send back "lol" after a few minutes.

-- Dan Polish Last Name (@danjan13) March 8, 2014

6.

[batteries in my TV remote die for the first time since I bought it 4 years ago]
"Useless piece of shit."

-- David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 20, 2015

7.

I'm glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's really come in handy this parallelogram season

-- Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) March 23, 2015

8.

facebook: racist moms
reddit: racist teens
twitter: racist journos
tumblr: so not-racist they're racist again teens
insta: a nice sandwich

-- Luke O'Neil (@lukeoneil47) August 13, 2016

9.

here i made the best arthur meme http://pic.twitter.com/fqqNF4QLh3

-- eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) July 29, 2016

10.

Feeling unmotivated? Look at this incredibly badass Chinese statue. It won't help, but it's freakin badass http://pic.twitter.com/yesg0DjFKs

-- Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) August 17, 2016

11.

INTERVIEWER: whats one of ur strengths
ME: i perform well under pressure
INTERVIEWER: ok can i have an example
ME: [throwing up] im so sorry

-- Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) June 21, 2016

12.

SCIENCE: This is true.

HALF OF AMERICA: No.

-- Sam Reid (@SamReidSays) March 20, 2015

Source: www.collegehumor.com