1. Is you boyfriend on board with this wish?

2. K, handsized phone. Got it.

3. Are bats real? Are you real?

4.

5. He's a modern day Van Gogh-f*ck-yourself

6. They literally explain what The Onion is in their share.

7. Everything. It has everything to do with the car.

8. I sincerely hope someone didn't actually fall for this.

9. Gray commenter nailed it.

10. Good deal, though.

11. What.

12. Well, government? Balls in your court, now.

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